Just in from NNN
(Nothing News Network)
A Nation of Sausage Makers by Walt Barrett
A well known US economist, Dr. Maxim A. Wholey, in an exciting, and informative news
conference today, has stated that he presented his economic plan to
the President earlier this week, a plan to save the US economy, and
satisfy the President’s campaign promise to “Bring all the jobs
back to America.” Dr. Wholey stated that the idea came to him
in a flash while he was working at his hobby which is making
delicious home made sausages, according to Dr. Wholey.
Dr. Wholey further stated that his plan is so simple that he is amazed that no
one has ever proposed it before. Dr. Wholey also stated that he first
got interested in sausage making while assembling sausage machines at
his uncle’s sausage machine factory in Chicago where he
worked part time while attending graduate school.
Here is Dr. Wholey’s plan in a nut shell.
Step 1. The US government would immediately set aside five billion dollars
which would be used for an initial purchase of one hundred million
sausage grinding machines from an unnamed sausage machine factory in
the Middle East.
Step 2. Starting with the unemployed families first, the government would
then issue each of these families a sausage grinding machine, a
gigantic meat locker, A year’s supply of beef from Argentina, Pork and
Chicken from China and Lamb from New Zealand, and all of the other
materials required to make delicious sausages including spices from
India, China, and the Middle East.
Step 3. After an intensive one week training course for each family,
costing the US government the modest sum of ten thousand dollars per
family, And taught by a Dr Wholey and a veritable army of his highly
skilled economist associates, and hobby sausage makers, An estimated
one hundred million families would immediately start making and
selling delicious sausages.
That, in a nut shell, is the Dr. Maxim Wholey economic plan to save the US
economy. There has been no comment from the White House yet.
When asked by NNN TV news anchor Katie Hatchet “Where were
the one hundred million sausage factories going to sell all of
those delicious sausages, Dr. Wholey answered, “Simple, they
will sell them to each other of course.” “ That will
keep our dollars circulating, and my new proposed government sales
tax on sausages and sausage machines will easily pay back the initial
cost of my plan in two years.”
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